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Review: Eminem’s “Relapse”

May 20, 2009 2:48 PM

If Eminem’s new album, “Relapse” was a movie, it would be a low-quality slasher film, going for the jugular (and the lowest common denominator) at every chance.  Eminem tries too hard to offend.  He says all the worst possible things you can imagine.  If there was a line in his head of common decency, he crossed it long ago and then sprinted another four-thousand miles away from it! 

Over the course of twenty tracks, spread across seventy-six minutes, he discusses his descent into drug use, but he does so in the most tasteless ways possible.  Short of some sort of moose-tranquilizer, just about every major drug is mentioned.  This wouldn’t be an Eminem album if he didn’t add some sort of vile, vicious element into the mix.  On “3 a.m.,” for instance, he’s a drug-using, murdering amnesiac surrounded by dead bodies.  On “My Mom” he cites his mother’s drug use as the cause for his own abuse.  (Seriously, another song about his mom???)  Speaking of abuse, on “Insane,” he graphically depicts a story of sexual abuse.  Really, this album is a violent, hazy free-for-all with nothing anywhere near a concept of appropriate boundaries.  There are repeated references to rape. (He even makes a reference to performing a wire-hanger abortion.)  He is just as much of a misogynist and just as homophobic as before, but now he may be even worse, like he’s really trying to get our attention this time.  It’s been a long four years since his last record and he apparently wants to make sure we remember him.  He’s especially harsh toward lesbians.  At one point, he jokes about lesbian Siamese twins “joined at the hip,” while elsewhere he makes references to Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, Portia De Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres. 

Really one can go no lower than where Mr. Mathers goes on this record.  On “Medicine Ball” he takes some jabs at the late Christopher Reeve, whom he repeatedly refers to wrongly as “Christopher Reeves!” Elsewhere on the record, there are a few mentions of the late Heath Ledger.  Yes, nothing is sacred in Eminem’s world.  This is an album jam-packed with hate.  His words are repugnant.  His sentiments are both tasteless and depressing.  Drug addiction is a majorly important issue but in Shady’s hands it all becomes a numbing circus. 

The obsession with kidnapping and murder is also another issue.  “Stay Wide Awake” is nothing but a predator’s theme.  “Same Song And Dance” is about a murdering rapist.  What can be learned from this?  Nothing, really!  This is a record for the careless, hopeless, maniacal misinformed masses who think of watching “Jerry Springer” as entertainment.  There are more than a few crass mentions of Hanna Montana, a few lines about masturbation and then he says yet more outrageous things.  It makes the weed-centric tracks, “Old Time’s Sake” and “Must Be The Ganja” actually come as a relief. They serve as a slight breather from all the violence and hate.

If you listen to Eminem’s earliest records, yes, all of these elements were there, but there was enough to defend.      His lyrical skill -- the way he could put a phrase together was his real calling card.  That’s why he initially got respect from his hip-hop peers. (Having Dr. Dre by his side didn’t hurt either.)  There were actually a few lines in “My Name Is…” that were funny and clever.  One misses his serious side, too.  His best song is “Lose Yourself” which by his standards is rather straightforward.  That dramatic side is hard to be found on “Relapse,” except for on the track “Beautiful” where he discusses how isolated and alone he feels.  If he really did have a drug issue, this track is the one true glimpse of Marshall Mathers.  Why is everything else such a joke?  Why try to offend everyone?  After a while, when the shock wears off, he’s just going to escalate it to the point where it could break him.  Where’s it going to stop? 

His attempts to shock have already affected his delivery.  On both “3 a.m.” and the incredibly irksome single, “We Made You,” he delivers his lines in an annoying whiny tone.  (On the latter, he seems to have adopted a bizarre accent of an unknown region.) Meanwhile, on “Crack A Bottle,” he is lyrically bested by both Dr. Dre and 50 Cent.  Really, the fast, clever part of Eminem is virtually dead.  I laughed once in the course of the entire album and that was on “My Mom” when he shouts, “go find you a white crayon and color a f___in’ zebra!”  I laughed because it’s a thinker.  (An all white zebra = a white horse!)  Yes, it’s stupid, but sadly it’s the best line here.  It’s the only clever bit on the record except for a fleeting moment of vocoder mockery aimed toward the likes of T-Pain and Lil Wayne!
 

Eminem spends “Relapse” doing nothing but poking the bear.  He wants to anger his critics.  He wants people to talk about him.  He wants to be accepted and loved by the trashiest sector of popular culture. It’s a pathetic display!  Why else would he stick in the names of so many D-list celebrities in “We Made You?”  He doesn’t care that he’s dating his music. (In five years, will anyone care that he wrote rhymes about Kim Kardashian’s butt?  Really, sadly, they shouldn’t care now!!)  But as an album, “Relapse” seems like a feeble, cheap reach for the stars.  It shouldn’t work. (“Bagpipes From Baghdad” will probably not upset Mariah Carey or Nick Cannon, its main targets!) 

I miss that old energy of songs like “The Way I Am.”  In those days, even if you didn’t agree with him, you could still admire his songs’ beats and his energy.  This album is short on good beats and the few good beats that are there are ruined by Eminem himself!   
 

He could’ve come back with a thoughtful record.  If some of the things he discusses on this record are real, he could’ve discussed them in a way that was useful and constructive.  There’s very little useful or constructive about “Relapse.”  It’s a record which celebrates the worst parts of society.  He just wants attention, and by writing this review I’m giving him a little but it needs to stop.  This album should really be ignored.  The crazier and more unhinged Eminem gets, the more he makes a mockery of hip-hop.  Anyone who has ever listened to Eminem before knows what to expect.  Some will find his lack of restraint entertaining while others will find it unforgivably offensive.  In any case, we thankfully live in a free country where we can make up our own minds for ourselves.

Personally, I find this record to be utterly recyclable and unmistakably reprehensible. It’s a million times worse than awful!!  My ipod now needs a good cleaning!

May 20, 2009 | Permalink | User Comments (8)

User Comments

Posted by: JebMonk | May 20, 2009 3:31:23 PM

Posted by: chris | May 20, 2009 9:26:39 PM

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Posted by: CRAZYMIKESITE | Jul 26, 2009 3:14:27 AM

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