Oddities

There's no pleasing women today. American men do twice as much housework as before, but still not enough huh?.

40 years of radical American Feminism has got every man in this country wringing their limp wrists trying to figure out how to please their women. American feminists won't be happy until men grow breasts, bear children, and have periods - then, and only then, will American women finally say there we've exacted our revenge on the 'MAN'.

When my husband and I moved in together I made it very clear to him that "I am not the maid". And he made it clear to me that "he is not the garbage man". Therefore, the chores are done equally in our household. In the kitchen, I have one part of the counter, he has the other. I like the kitchen neat and orderly, no dirty dishes. He likes leaving dirty dishes on the counter. Instead of nagging and trying to change him, I let him have his own space. The dirty dishes always end up in the dishwasher eventually. Neither one of us feels like its the other's responsibility to do any particular chore. If you have a spouse who has the expectation that you are there as their servant, its up to you to correct the misconception or behavior. When I hear wives complaining about their husbands, my only response is "Well, you trained them that way". And the same goes with husbands who constantly respond to their whining wives. If you're not happy with your situation- then change YOU.

I think your results would vary depending on where you do your study. Oh, has anyone noticed that only 18 year old males are required to sign up for selective service? Where's the equality in that? I am a firm believer in equal rights and equal responsibilities that come with those rights.

"Right now I’m doing laundry while my wife goes to visit her mother. I got the better end of that deal!"

At least men haven't lost their sense of humor!

TZ:

I agreed with all you wrote until I got to the critical phrase: "...trained them that way.."

Men are not farm animals to be trained.

While I admire the equity in your home, may I suggest that next time, you find another word to describe how you both arrived at your agreement?

Despite all appearances to the contrary, the preponderance of sexism in this country is a subtle, insidious, ongoing and acceptable disparagment of men.

And this will only change when men stand up and reject all forms of sexism as women have done.

Women create work for themselves. Don't blame men for your nesting tendencies. You don't need to make the bed every day. That is pointless. If you put clothes in the drawer, you just have to get them out later. If you eat out of the pan or kettle, that is one less dish to clean. Note that it said men did one hour less of house chores and women did 7 hours more. That is a net gain of 6 hours of chores. Oh and then there are the kids. The world is overpopulated, we dont need any more kids, and if a woman really wants kids, it is her own fault she has created more work for herself.

Morons think that there is no difference between the sexes, or races etc. etc.... Though none should be esteemed greater than another the fact that we are all different in varied aspects is obvious even to those with a somewhat properly functioning brain. Since we men only use half. Has anyone ever heard of a "nesting instinct?" It exists in nature and is properly placed within the gender who holds the esteemed position of "life bringer otherwise known as childbirth" It is natural for a woman to see and act on natural instincts to nurture and protect. Men are kind of oblivious about such matters in case you haven't noticed. There are always exceptions but nature/God designed things to have unique and befitting qualities. Men DO have some redeeming qualities too. Let's not try to make everything/everybody exactly equal all the time. It's just not true. Everyone's not exactly the same. Midgets should not be playing in the NBA and Shaq wouldn't make a good jockey either.

stop fighting about it and get a maid --

stop fighting about it and get a maid --

I believe many people still have views in what the role of the husband and wife and that is where the problems lay. My husband believes that I should do household chores (because of my gender) but he forgets that we both have careers-we are both active duty military. His beliefs are based upon how he was raised; mine are based upon how I was raised. My parents both had full time jobs therefore the chores in my house were divided. His parents however had one working parent, therefore the mom did everything. However, we did discuss our chores before marriage and I gave him the option to decide which chores he wanted. Although he is not thrilled with his chores (an occasional argument flares), I am happy I don't have to nag constantly. Oh by the way for the comments about women not in the military, we have both deployed to Iraq.

Well I guess I'm in the minority right now. I work away from home 28 hrs a week and spend 5hrs a week driving to and fro. My husband keeps the house clean, the laundry done ,fixes me a bite for breakfast, prepares our evening meal, does the dishes (even if it only means empty the dishwasher and refill it), keeps the lawn mowed and trimmed, and the pond and filters clean. Also plants and cares for the flower gardens, keeps both cars serviced. On top of all that he does the grocery shopping. I wouldn't trade places with him for anything in the world. PS: he is 74 and I'm 69

I do mostly everything, and from what i see, that is basically the case with most families I know. I love my hubby dearly, but if ever I found I were to be alone again. i'd never marry again. My mom was widowed and she'd never marry again. The men who dated her would get so frustrated, why didn't she want to get married, or move in???? "Why would i want a man to pick up after him?and cook for him? and do his laundry? I can hire someone to fix my house once and a while, doesn't make up for 24/7 maid duty. I'll date, thank you." ...what a hot ticket! Good for her! i laughed so loud. good for you!

yea another study told us guys who do more dishes get more sex and I have been doing dishes since last 6 years of my marriage and haven't seen any change in my conjugal life.

Here's an idea for another story.
Lazy Wives? Husbands Do More Yard Work.

You want to see the hard working wifes, go to starbucks and the mall after they drop the kids at school! Man they got it made having a provider who puts 8-12 hours a day at work then comes home to naging and bitching. Ladys go read Dr. Laura's book you probably know which one.

Women have no one to blame for this but themselves. If both husband and wife are working full-time, there is no reason for each partner not to do his or her full share. (A partner staying at home or working part-time should do the larger share.) But in my experience, women don't insist that men do their full share. Or they insist that chores be done perfectly and end up doing the tasks themselves "because it's easier." I know a lot of men who are willing to do more around the house but are tired of being criticized for not being perfect when they do. No, I am not a man who hates women working outside the home; I am a woman tired of seeing a lot of women make these mistakes and then whine about the consequences.

Boo-frickin'-hoo! Call us when women start paying for drinks and dinner, when a woman who lives off her husband is looked down upon with as much contempt as a man who lives off his wife, when the first woman to do something that's been done by men for decades doesn't need a big parade afterwards, and when Lifetime produces a made-for-TV movie in which the male characters all have good intentions and everything is exactly as it seems.

here's the thing Frank, yard work? how often? I'll tell you that housework is every day, eveyr freakin day, and for hte record, d o you really plant flowers? weed them? water the garden? trim the bushes? clean up the toys from the kids? doubt it. what is 'yard work'? Mowing the lawn??? whoodie doo. as my mom says, she hires a teenager to do that twice a month. hardily qualifies for picking up your clothes, cooking for you, cleaning up yhour dishes, food shopping, laundry, folding it...EVERYDAY! I keep the peace by not getting in arguments over and over an dover about the same thing, so I let it go, but yeah it grates on me, it DOES Make me see my husband as LESS attractive ot me, because honestly, someone you have ot pick up after a like achild is NOT someone I am going to get hot over, and other guys at work or whatever are more attractive, it's true. it's not rocket science either. It's obvious, dont you think? As I said, If ever I fin myself alone at some time, I'll date, maybe have somebody for sex eveyr now and then, take me out ot restaurants, but i never see myself living wiht a man again. just being honest!

Hey Ed,

I'll add one more to your justified list...

All this talk of women making less money then men in business: the glass ceiling?

Where is the talk about the concrete basement?

Namely: 90% of all workplace fatalities are men; 70% of all workplace injuries are men.

No... women want to make the same money as men (justified request and I support it), but it seems women overlook the price men pay for some of those jobs.

Jessbottom

I suggest two choices for you:

1. Shut up and divorce your husband and find a decent man - we are out there.

2. Scream even louder at your husband and nail yourself to a crucifix.

Decide...

Oh... and Jess...
If you choose the latter: the self-crucifixtion.

Make sure that when you slam each nail in, you sing out "I am woman, hear me roar!"
by Helen Reddy.

to the guy who says a women likes off a man???? do you mean mothers? and what exactly happens if your wife takes off on you and your children are your responsibility 24/7???? your job performance would go right down the toilet. YOU would have ot take off everytime they are sick, YOU need to be at the bus stop, or find someone who will and then LEAVE WORK immediately when you find out they wont and YOU will have to be ones to show up late for work after brinign them to school everyday. If you think caring for children has no value or will cost you nothing that says a whole lot about you. And if you need to hire someone to do your laundry, clean your house, and make your food or you have to start buying premade food, you'll see that what your wife does actually has very read monetary value and it is what allows you to have that career that you take for granted. time is money. Your wife freeing up your time IS allowing you to make more money. Geesh! At least my husband is VERY aware of that after I fell ill a few years ago and he realized what it is actually like if I were to dissapear. Wow. I feel bad for your wife! poorthing!

Thanks for your advice but no thanks. I do love my husband quite a lot. He's a fantastic father. What i think you dont' realize is that I'm very very typical, in fact, i'm probably happier with my husband than most women I know. I will happy no matter where or what lot i have in life. I just like to enjoy life.l But if we are going ot have this topic, I'm just offering honest opinion. I don't need a solution. I'm good, thanks. worry about yourself. Don't think this is the opinion of a miserable women. this is the opinion of women who smiles everyday and asks her husband how his day was and a women with a lot of friends and activities. It's just my littler secret honest opinion. :-) deal with it. this is honesty.

Jess says:
"It's just my littler secret honest opinion. :-) deal with it. this is honesty."

Sorry Jess, but by their nature, 'secret opinions' are fundamentally dishonest.

If you are content with your husband, I am happy for you.
Now please get off the platform of diminishing men. Either blatantly diminish your husband, here, in public, or shut up.

Dear James,

You said: "Modern appliances have reduced housework astronomically since the 50's." Yes, it's true, but women didn't work out of the home in the 50's.

You said: "Men on average work longer hours outside the home" Maybe, but it could be because the women have to leave their jobs at the end of the day to rush out to get the kids and get dinner started. Then at night, when everybody is sleeping, we finish up the work we brought home from the office.

You said: "(men) mow the lawn, trim the shrubs, do house repairs, take car(e) of the family cars and other equipment issues" Maybe, but they don't do this everyday, week after week. By the way, in my house we share these chores.

You said" "(men)take out the garbage, walk the dog" Umm, I take out the garbage too, and the hubby takes out the dog because HE wanted the dog. I have a cat. And yes, I clean the litter box (even when I was pregant and I was supposed not to change it. Hubby said it was MY cat.)

And the security thing? My alarm system does that.

So give me a break.