Looney Tunes

Well, for some reason, Serendipity isn't picking up the proper trackback URL, so my response is up at http://pontification.com/serendipity/index.php?/archives/90-First-they-came-for-the-dynamite....html

'Twas ever thus, unfortunately. I grew up in the Chicago area, where WGN-TV (the local station owned by the Chicago Tribune, "the World's Greatest Newspaper") hacked several Warner Brothers toons to pieces. And I mean "hacked;" the cuts were heavy-handed and obvious.

An example or two: in "The Wabbit Who Came To Dinner" (1942), a scene in Elmer's house where he's trying to rock Bugs to sleep was excised because of the presence on the back wall of a "September Morn"-type nude print. It's blurry and small and you can't SEE anything, but it was still cut.

"The Bear's Tale" (1940) was similarly chopped up, particularly some double entendres between Goldilocks and Red Riding Hood, and even the punchline scene showing the Baby Bear's bear/bare butt.

The reason for the mayhem? The Archdiocese of Chicago under George William Cardinal Mundelein (1872-1939) became a hotbed of Irish conservatism as documented in "Sin and Censorship" by Frank Walsh (Yale University Press, 1996). According to Walsh, Mundelein was the founding spirit of the National League of Decency, which reflected his prejudices and which was the REAL force of censorship in Hollywood, both predating and outlasting the Hays Office.

The Chicago Archdiocese isn't influencing local censorship these days, but the work goes on. When the Fox Network brought the Japanese children's anime "Ojamajo Doremi" to its Saturday morning line-up as "Magical DoReMi," the changes ranged from dialogue rewrites to scene switching to dropping some eps outright, which is par for the course when adapting anime for Americans.

There's nothing new under the sun.

2 words. Pepe le Pew. Ok, 2.5. He smoked like crazy. Long, french cigarettes. And mostly in a sexual connotation - to attract the young, naive cat that had walked underneath wet paint, this making her look like a skunk. I watched the hell out of some Pepe Le Pew. Did it make me smoke? Weeeeellll, it certainly did make it look sexy and French, but I'm not sure I wouldn't have at least tried it anyway. Afterall, it's a forbidden fruit. Back to the point, would Pepe have looked the same without the ciggy? Would his sexuality have translated to young children everywhere with just his suave, french accent?

As an aficionado of animation, and especially of "classic" cartoons, I've maintained for years that the content presented to children is much more of an adult nature than previously thought. Why stop at digitally removing cigarettes, cigars, pipes, tobacco, and other smoking materials from such cartoons? It's obvious that many more things should be removed, if you will consider the examples of the following popular cartoon characters:

Donald Duck is a textbook case of dysfunctionality. He always appears without any pants and has a "girlfriend" named Daisy and three "nephews" (of a never-mentioned sibling) named Huey, Dewey, and Louie, who look like him. Daisy has three "nieces" (also of a never-mentioned sibling) named April, May, and June who look just like her. Just what message will children derive from this morally bankrupt avian version of "Tobacco Road?"

Like Donald Duck, Porky Pig is an ethically-challenged "flasher" who also never wears pants and has a severe speech impediment which is used to make him the butt of jokes. He has also unmistakably demonstrated anger-management issues over the years, and has little patience for conflict resolution. Why is this socially-unacceptable behavior glorified in this manner?

Perhaps the worst offender of all is Yogi Bear, who is clothed only in a porkpie hat and combination collar and tie. He has no occupation, and exhibits compulsional behavior involving kleptomania, eating disorders, and clear disregard of authority. Moreover, he, too lives in morally questionable circumstances with a younger bear whose relationship is unclear and a "girlfriend" who appears sporadically. I think it obvious that this ursine version of "God's Little Acre" is nothing suitable for children.

As you can well imagine, I certainly think that the 1960's purge of racially offensive material was appropriate. However, as you can plainly see, continuing the trend toward political correctness shouldn't stop just with tobacco when there are so many more instances of moral decrepitude in these cartoons. We should ensure that these cartoons are as inoffensive as possible so as not to pollute young minds. Then these cartoons will be as fresh and as wholesome as, umm, well, I'm sure I'll think of something.

In the words of the famous philosopher Friz Freleng, "Th--That's all folks!"

Breeder? That's not very polite . . .

While I understand the motive behind this, as a lifelong Warner Brothers fan, I don't want to be told what I can and cannot watch...I also wish people would stop assuming that anything animated is OK for kids of all ages - there are Disney movies that I would never take a small child to

Here are a few links to the Melanie controversy

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2006/07/24/entertainment/e162519D00.DTL

http://www.salon.com/ent/video_dog/media/2006/07/25/melanie_martinez/index.html

Here's the Goodnight Moon parody:

EXCELLENT start, HarperCollins, but why stop there? The text of "Goodnight Moon" itself is laden with messages that are potentially harmful to our youngest readers. At a minimum, these changes should be made:

A. Huge gilt picture frames have no place in the nursery, especially those that are not properly secured. Should these three little bears sitting on chairs crash down during the night, Bunny risks suffering massive head trauma. Suggested change: digitally replace with piece of lightweight non-toxic fiber art.

B. The blue stripes are adorable, but the reader has no way of knowing whether Bunny's pj's meet current flammability standards. Suggested change: digitally alter to include visible "flame resistant" label, in accordance with recommendations made by the Consumer Products Safety Commission. Digitally removing pj's is not an option.

C. Tell me this rug is not made of the skin of a Siberian tiger. Suggested change: Digitally remove to avoid appearance of condoning hunting of planet's endangered species.

D. How long has this bowl full of mush been sitting here? A single drop of sour milk contains more than 50 million potentially fatal bacteria. At the very least Bunny is in danger of contracting irritable bowel syndrome. Not to mention mush is low in fiber. Suggested change: Digitally remove.

E. Balloons cause more choking deaths among 3- to 6-year-olds than any other toy. Suggested change: Digitally remove.

F. Given proximity and brightness of stars and moon, it's apparent that Bunny's room is in a high rise. Both windows lack either locks or any type of window guard or restraining device. Suggested change: To avoid the appearance of encouraging children to peer out of unsafe windows, and thus tumble to their deaths, digitally remove windows. Bunny can easily bid goodnight to a moon painted on the wall with nontoxic, lead-free paint.

G. Mice carry hantavirus, hemorrhagic fever, salmonella and Lyme disease. Suggested change: Digitally remove.

H. A fire blazing in the fireplace while Bunny sleeps? Suggested change: Get rid of it. At the very least, digitally add a fire extinguisher to the wall. And hello? Where are the smoke detectors?

I. The United States Fire Administration advises against using "alternative heating devices" like fires to dry clothing. Suggested change: Digitally move mittens and socks to other end of the room.

J. Clearly the bookshelf is unanchored to the wall. If an earthquake hit, Bunny could get squashed flat. Suggested change: Digitally remove. We can't see the titles on the spines of the books anyway, which might convey to children it's all right to pick up any old book and read it.

K. Who exactly is this rabbit? Bunny says, "A quiet old lady whispering hush?" But what do we know of her really? Suggested change: Digitally alter quiet old lady's apron with a message emblazoned across the front that says she was hired from a reputable agency, is a citizen and has passed a criminal background check.

L. Penetrating injuries to the chest by knitting needles are not uncommon. Also, someone could lose an eye. Suggested change: Digitally remove. The quiet old lady is not getting paid to knit, anyway.

Karen Karbo is the author, most recently, of "Minerva Clark Gets a Clue."

Withholding the racist material is reasonable. But expunging the tobacco at the expense of the integrity of the cartoon seems somewhat facist to me. It is a slippery slope, an another example of which is the digital alteration of Clement Hurd, the illustrator of children's favorite Goodnight Moon. HarperCollins digitally altered his photo to remove cigarette in his hand. This really happened. And the parody that followed (printed in the New York Times on December 4, 2005) was hilarious. I'll post it separately.

Another example of political correctness gone awry is the firing of Melanie from the Goodnight Show. I can't do the YouTube feature of this story so I'll just post a link.

btw Jake, since you opened the door to your personal life (aren't you happy you did that!), no doubt soon you'll be a breeder and you'll be in the know regarding all these parenting issues.