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Letterman's Debate Advice

October 15, 2008 10:30 AM

From last night's Top Ten. The Top Ten Ways John McCain Can Turn It Around 
   
10. Try the old "I'll vote for you if you vote for me" trick 

9.  Inspire America by jumping Straight Talk Express over Snake River Canyon 

8.  Change name to Jorack McBama 

7.  Start wearing a cape 

6.  Step one: send Bin Laden free tickets to Giants game. Step two: when he shows up in East Rutherford, New Jersey expecting to enjoy some big blue smashmouth football: gotcha sucka! 

5.  Sizzling tango with Cloris Leachman on "Dancing With The Stars" 

4.  Put more effort into budget plan, less effort into Facebook status updates 

3.  Point out his steady leadership got us through the Great Depression 

2.  Assure voters the only poll that matters is in his pants 

1.  Get Sarah Palin to illegally fire herself.

Sen. McCain will appear on Letterman tomorrow night.

- jpt

October 15, 2008 | Permalink | Share | User Comments (33)

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Zuzi

I have never worn a flag pin in my life nor do I put my hand over my heart during the national anthem. I stand at attention does this make me unpatriotic? How often do you wear a flag pin? i must have missed that amendment when I read the constitution.

Posted by: Josh | Oct 15, 2008 8:48:43 PM

I like the cape suggestion.

I think Cindy and Sarah should also wear capes while standing silently behind McCain as they have been quite often lately during his appearances.

To me they look like they're trying to be some kind of comic book heroes.

Posted by: Danny | Oct 15, 2008 7:21:09 PM

Obama would definitely condemn any rioting if he should lose..
But why didn't put his hand on his heart when the national anthem was being played ? Why ? Why did he need to be pressured to wear the US flag pin? Why ? Why did he call an America-hater like Rev. Wright an "uncle" ? The minimum requirement of a president should be patriotism. I question Obama's patriotism.

Posted by: zuzi | Oct 15, 2008 6:48:25 PM

hero

U.S. Senator do not have a vote of present. So you must be talking about some mortgage reform bill that he voted on in the Illinois State Senate where a vote of present is taken as a 'nay' vote and used when the Senator is in favor of the majority of the bill but opposed to the pork that has been inserted into the bill. If I am wrong about where he made this "Present" vote on mortgage reform bill please let me know exactly what bill it is.

Posted by: Josh | Oct 15, 2008 6:42:02 PM

It's all over... Even if McCain should win, there would be rioting in the streets...
Posted by zuzi

If people riot because McCain wins then those people that do riot are not good Americans. I'm not saying that it won't happen but if it does I think Obama will go on tv and condem it imediately.

I also wouldn't be surprised if there was rioting in the streets if Obama wins. And McCain will go on tv and condem it. Then Palin will go on tv and condone it.

Posted by: Josh | Oct 15, 2008 6:29:49 PM

I meant:
It's all over... Even if McCain should win, there would be rioting in the streets...

Posted by: zuzi | Oct 15, 2008 6:17:44 PM

It's all over... Even if McCain should win, there would be rioting in the streys...

Posted by: zuzi | Oct 15, 2008 6:17:06 PM

Linda

I am afraid of America as we currently know it. If Obama wins I will not be thankful that America will change. I am sick of the way America has been for the last 8 years. If McCain wins I am afraid that America will remain the same as it is now.

Posted by: Josh | Oct 15, 2008 5:51:28 PM

Hey Linda and Joe,
If you're going to bash Letterman and Obama and tell everyone what idiots they are, the least you could do is learn how to spell and use proper English. The irony is you're calling people idiots while you're too dumb to know how much of an idiot you actually are.

Posted by: a | Oct 15, 2008 4:07:41 PM

The only thing that can save McCain is the Bradley effect. Even Jesse and Obama blowing up Israel is not gonna get the repubs the jewish vote. Obama and Joe the Idiot have no shame. Will promise anything to get elected.

Posted by: Pete | Oct 15, 2008 4:06:14 PM

Does Letterman really think we care what HE thinks?

He is immature and has no class whatsoever.

Posted by: ml | Oct 15, 2008 3:15:04 PM

I agree with liberati, all I hear is Palin and McCain bashing. I have also noticed that abc is one sided in there comments. Therefore our family does not watch you now. I think news should be reported, if its news. You know your opinion should not come into it, Katie or any of the rest of you that think we really give a crap what you think. I live in the real world. The truth is, Obama is not really a black man, but when it comes to his advantage, he's right there. He's everything isn't he? That's the problem, how long can you straddle the road? One day he will have to take a side, take a stand, and if he'e our new President I'm afraid for the United States of America as we know it.

Posted by: Linda | Oct 15, 2008 12:39:43 PM

Obama Voted 'Present' on Mortgage Reform
The only banking 'deregulation' in recent years was that of Fan and Fred.

FROM WALL STREET JOURNAL WSJ.COM

The only banking ‘deregulation’ in recent years was that of Fan and Fred.

— In each of the first two presidential debates, Barack Obama claimed that “Republican deregulation” is responsible for the financial crisis.

If Sen. Obama were truly looking for a kind of deregulation that might be responsible for the current financial crisis, he need only look back to 1998, when the Clinton administration ruled that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac could satisfy their affordable housing obligations by purchasing subprime mortgages. This ultimately made it possible for Fannie and Freddie to add a trillion dollars in junk loans to their balance sheets. This led to their own collapse, and to the development of a market in these mortgages that is the source of the financial crisis we are wrestling with today.

Finally, on the matter of deregulation and the financial crisis, Sen. Obama should consider his own complicity in the failure of Congress to adopt legislation that might have prevented the subprime meltdown.

Posted by: hero | Oct 15, 2008 11:56:53 AM

Well its more than likley due to the fact that Mclame lied to letterman and went on curics show. Probably what mad him mad. Last I checked Obama kept his appointments. Now if keeping your appointments is affermative action then,
liberia, I suppose thats what you could call it. Man it's true the MClame Palin campian does draw in idiots.

Posted by: Joe | Oct 15, 2008 11:38:54 AM

While political humor is mainstay and expected, I find it both ironic and hypocritical that while Letterman, and really any comedian, bash McCain and Palin repeatedly, no one even DARES attack Obama, for fear it will be met with cries of racism.

ANYTHING negative against Obama is racist. This man has America under hostage, and he can and will get away with anything.

It's sad that as a country, we allowed ourselves to get in this position, to the point where one man has attained power in this manner. That we are electing our President by affirmative action is the absolutely are lowest point in history.

Posted by: liberati | Oct 15, 2008 11:34:27 AM

Number one is something she is a pro at. All the experiance she needs right there to be VP.

Posted by: Joe | Oct 15, 2008 11:33:48 AM

Love it. Especially #1.

Posted by: Phil | Oct 15, 2008 11:24:53 AM

(resending with corrected typos)
Experience really is important, not just because it gives a candidate time to learn, but because it gives us a chance to see what he has learned. McCain's problem is not that he is too old; his problem is that after all those years he still makes the big mistakes. He helped push us into Iraq, he spent all his political career fighting anyone who wanted the government to use oversight to protect our economy, he speaks of the need for experience and despite being in poor health he picks Sarah Palin to be the one to take over if he is sick or dies. Picking Palin was reckless , especially from a man saying he thinks experience is important. Maybe McCain can't remember what he has said from day to day, but we do. His experience proves him to be wrong on all the really big issues. I have always admired him as a man, if not as a politician. The old version of McCain reached across the aisle, but this one is burning bridges with most of America, choosing to seek his support from fanatics who call Democrats hooligans and speak of killing his enemies. McCain needs to apologize to Obama and to America to save his legacy, or those few wonderful things he really did do will not save him from the only judgment history can render a man who is polarizing America when what we most need is for all Americans to believe again in each other. God bless America!

Posted by: Jack47 | Oct 15, 2008 11:23:37 AM

Can't wait for the debate tonight. McCain is going to lose it again. What a disaster his campaign is. How he possibly could have thought that choosing Palin as his V.P. would get him elected shows an incredible lack of judgment. She hasn't brought the Hillary voters over to him, like he thought, huh? Nice ploy, John. She is nothing like Hillary - not even close. He blew it big time and there's no turning back. What a fearmonger and hateful attack dog she is. And I hope he cancels once again on Letterman. He may have to, cause after tonight's debate, he will have to go into hiding out of pure embarrassment.
Obama/Biden - '08/'12.

Posted by: geecee | Oct 15, 2008 11:19:11 AM

# 11 - Drive the Straight Talk Express right through my Michael Strahan front teeth!

Signed,
A 61 yr old father of a 5 yr old!

Posted by: Marcus | Oct 15, 2008 11:18:57 AM

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