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Which of These Two Mama's Boys Are You Going to Vote For?

October 22, 2008 12:15 PM

Writing in the Wall Street Journal today, Sue Shellenbarger quotes Doug Wead, author of two books on presidential families, noting that both Sens. John McCain, R-Ariz., and Barack Obama, D-Ill., fit a certain presidential pattern of "Mama's boys with absent fathers who were perceived by the sons as high achievers."

Obama's tale is more complicated, because in addition to being abandoned by his father, Barack Obama Sr., at the age of two, his mother also left Obama Jr. in the care of her parents while she went off gallivanting around the world.

Indeed, on the stump, Obama seems to mention his ailing grandmother, 85-year-old Madelyn Dunham, whom he will be visiting in Hawaii Friday, far more often than he references his mother and father combined.

McCain's pop, Admiral John Sidney McCain Jr., was largely absent as his wife raised (now Sen.) John Sidney McCain III.

But the Obama memoir is titled "Dreams From My Father," and McCain's is "Faith of My Fathers."

Daddy issues, anyone?

McCain wrote of his father as "a distant, inscrutable patriarch" who suffered from alcoholism.

Do you need to have grown up in a dysfunctional home, without the love of two parents, in order to become a successful presidential candidate?

Wead set out to find if the parents of presidents had some special secret when he began "The Raising of a President." Instead, he tells Shellenbarger, he discovered the moms and dads of POTUSes past "were as neurotic and possessive and awful as anybody's."

In fact, Wead found most interesting "how these presidents were able to transcend these experiences or re-invent them as inspirational."

Or as a family therapist tells Shellenbarger, "When you don't have two nice parents who are very supportive ... you seek out and find sources of resilience and transcendence -- and you become amazing."

So go ahead, ignore your kids, marry the alcoholic, leave your kid in the care of his grandparents for years -- you might be setting them on a path to the White House.

- jpt

October 22, 2008 | Permalink | Share | User Comments (37)

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Obama was raised by strong women, but he was never a Mama's Boy. McCain has never grown-up. He has had someone pulling strings and supporting him for his entire life.

Jake, if you read Obama's book, "Dreams of my Father," you would know about the considerable effort Obama's mother put into ensuring Obama received a good education and felt good about his African-American heritage.

His mother and white grandfather talked about his absent father that made him sound like a hero. They only said good things about his father.

When they lived in Indonesia, his mother got him up at 4:30 am and she taught him things he would never learn in the Indonesia schools. She brought home books about African-Americans, such as Martin Luther King.

His mother made the difficult decision to send him back to Hawaii to provide an outstanding education. Her father's boss had connections to the private school in Hawaii.

His mother came back to Hawaii to get her advanced degrees after her second marriage failed. Obama lived with her and his sister. She wanted Obama to go with him when she left Hawaii, but Obama did not want to go.

Obama struggled with his identity. A black man living in a white world. During his college years he started working out the issues with his father. Obama first met a sister and brother from Kenya. Before he started Harvard he visited Kenya and learned about his father.

Read Obama's book as he walked in his father's shoes, which allowed him to come gain understanding, rather than spending his life as an angry man.

McCain is still an angry man that blames his father and others for not winning the Vietnam war. He is still trying to win in Vietnam, which just like Iraq, was not a winnable war.

Obama took the best from his mother and grandmother. His mother was a dreamer and dedicated to helping others. His grandmother was the sensible stable person that had a dreamer husband that was not very successful in his career.

I believe God had a plan for Obama that included all the experience that man him the man he is today. Some of the experiences were very difficult, but Obama pulled himself above the pain to focus on others.

Posted by: Julie | Oct 23, 2008 12:46:08 AM

: Anna | Oct 22, 2008 8:44:06 PM
McCain's father was "gallivanting" across the seas?

During war time?

Is that how you describe what Admirals do?

Has anyone suggested that your viewpoint might be a tad jaded?

How come B O's mom didn't bring him "all the way up"?

Why did his typical white grandma have to take up the slack for her daughter?

Posted by: ENOUGH ALREADY!!! | Oct 22, 2008 11:40:14 PM

This is fascinating and the documentation in Wead's studies are actually quite extensive. The source notes take up almost half the book and many are primary sources, interviews with Kennedys, Bushes, Fords, Carters, Clintons. This is good stuff. Thanks for the piece.

Posted by: CPhipps | Oct 22, 2008 11:39:50 PM

While McCain's father was off "gallivanting" across the seas, Obama's mother was organizing poor women into microeconomic businesses to make them self-sufficient and provide for their families. Who are you to say which was work was more productive?

Posted by: Anna | Oct 22, 2008 8:44:06 PM

Dear Jake: Why would you say that Obama's mother went "gallivanting around the world" as though she were some jetsetter who did nothing but shop (or spend $150,000 on a campaign wardrobe)? The woman was a serious worker, trying to make people's lives better in the world. And Doug Wead talks a lot about parents who grounded their kids and urged them to achieve higher and better things. The books are "All the Presidents' Children" and "The Raising of a President." Let's try reading it all before making snarky comments.

Posted by: merryjaz | Oct 22, 2008 8:24:06 PM

It's the media or the dems or the working poor, or minorities, or liberals, elitists or socialists or whoever is the scapegoat of the day. Republicans refuse to acknowledge that they screwed up the last 8 years and will not step up and take responsibility. That is why they are loosing. Not because of some "media filter."
Sarah Palin was packaged for our viewing pleasure and once we got to examine her a little more closely, meaning heraing what sh eis saying at her rallies as well as in interviews (including those w/ Dobson, Hannity and rush) we decided she was too far right for us indies. So sorry you feel the need to place BLAME BUT SHE DID THIS TO HERSELF BY SAYING YES MCCAIN. She was not vetted and we are now seeing her disagree w/ her running mate on a number of issues, since she was only brought in to give him street cred w/ the hard right base. We are tired of the divisivness, so please just stop with the crazy vitriol.

BTW 150,000 is way less then I make in a year and seems like for two months on the trail some pretty elitist spending.

Pot meet kettle:)

Posted by: Fizziwig | Oct 22, 2008 6:00:56 PM


"JoseyJ had a great comment an insight on Matt Weaver’s post earlier this morning. She compared the questions Charlie Gibson asked Barack Obama with the questions asked of Sarah Palin. Here’s what she wrote:

OBAMA interview with Charlie Gibson, June 2008
How does it feel to break a glass ceiling?
How does it feel to “win”?
How does your family feel about your “winning” breaking a glass ceiling?
Who will be your VP?
Should you choose Hillary Clinton as VP?
Will you accept public finance?
What issues is your campaign about?
Will you visit Iraq?
Will you debate McCain at a town hall?
What did you think of your competitor’s [Clinton] speech?


PALIN interview with Charlie Gibson, Sept. 2008
Do you have enough qualifications for the job you’re seeking? Specifically have you visited foreign countries and met foreign leaders?
Aren’t you conceited to be seeking this high level job?
Questions about foreign policy
-territorial integrity of Georgia
-allowing Georgia and Ukraine to be members of NATO
-NATO treaty
-Iranian nuclear threat
-what to do if Israel attacks Iran
-Al Qaeda motivations
-the Bush Doctrine
-attacking terrorists harbored by Pakistan
Is America fighting a holy war? [misquoted Palin]

That is the most damning indictment of the media bias I have seen. So, I have a request.

Let’s pull together the complete comparison of the questions asked of Palin vice Obam by the major anchors. Do the research and then post it in the comment section below. We will pull it together into one coherent article later. Please include the links for the source of your information. Thanks."

fm NOQUARTER

Posted by: Hero | Oct 22, 2008 3:14:52 PM

All tied up! AP poll has race at 44-43

OUCH ! you can see it costs them to present the poll...

Posted by: Hero | Oct 22, 2008 3:12:10 PM

"on the stump Obama seems to mention his ailing grandmother, 85-year-old Madelyn Dunham, whom he will be visiting in Hawaii Friday"

thought he was supposed to go in Hawaii thursday, so now it's Friday...


Posted by: Hero | Oct 22, 2008 3:11:17 PM

Steve in nj, I would refer you to a Washington Post story, the reverse of what you said is true. They have it all documented.

Posted by: samhiguchi | Oct 22, 2008 1:08:39 PM
************************

samhiguchi,

You must be kidding me.

You have been watching too much Faux News my friend and fellow prisoner.

Before the September intake of $150 million, Obama had 3.2 million small contributors with an average contribution of about $100.00.

If you know any math at all my friend, that would mean that about $320 Millions of the $400 Millions that Obama had collected so far had come from donors giving less than $200.

THAT IS CLOSER TO 75% THAN 25% MY DEAR FRIEND.


Posted by: Steve_NJ | Oct 22, 2008 1:41:06 PM

Obama, McCain, Biden, Cheney, Bush 43, Clinton, Gore, Bush 41, Quayle, Carter, and Ford were all named for their father and/or grandfather.
There is something in giving the boy a name that says "you are nothing more than an extension of me" that drives them to prove their father wrong! Oh yeah, daddy issues!

Posted by: GreggW | Oct 22, 2008 1:36:11 PM

I agree, these are some pretty awful comments. But such should be expected out of a blog where post after post is about "character" and gaffes. Is it the journalist's job to constantly critique narrative? Leave that to theater, literature and Comedy Central, Jake! They're a lot better at it than you are.

Partisan Democrat that I am, I couldn't help feeling sorry for John McCain considering the sloppy analysis you gave both candidates here. Maybe that's what you were trying to accomplish? I couldn't tell if it was that or if you were just trying to malign people who have had tough lives.

Posted by: Bored | Oct 22, 2008 1:31:24 PM

Jake, Doug Wead isn't an impartial presidential biographer. He's a longtime friend of the Bush family. He is also highly influential in the world of Amway -- an organization that peddles not only soap but also a far-right political agenda. It always makes me sad when journalists quote Wead while failing to mention (or perhaps know?) these connections.

Posted by: Giusseppe Abote | Oct 22, 2008 1:20:56 PM

Obama seems to be constantly looking for a father figure. He seems to not have the best taste in these older men figures. Rev. Wright comes to mind. Joe (did he actually say that) Biden is close second.

Biden is an interesting case. He strongly rejected Obama with his silly Obama is not qualified speech and his even sillier racist rant about Obama being a "clean articulate" guy. Biden probably also runs a close second in terms of being the most racist after Rev. Wright.

Biden rejecting Obama, pbobably amde him more appealing to Obama as it matched the father Obama knew fleetingly as a child.

Having said all of that Obama did a great job of recovering from all of that childhood trauma. Probably why he is so calm to this day. Not that I would vote for him.

Posted by: today | Oct 22, 2008 1:18:19 PM

"he (Wead) discovered the moms and dads of POTUSes past "were as neurotic and possessive and awful as anybody's."

I think Wead needs some serious help

Posted by: smith | Oct 22, 2008 1:12:04 PM

JFK had a high achieving father but it seems his mother ruled at home. Both had politicians in their families. Clinton's biological father died before he was born and Clinton took the name of his step father Roger Clinton but not until he was a teenager. Gerald Ford was born Leslie King in Omaha and renamed after his parents were divorced and his mom remarried. Reagan's mother appeared to be a more stable figure than his Dad who had economic problems in the depression along with alcoholism.

Posted by: bhciapol | Oct 22, 2008 1:11:01 PM

Steve in nj, I would refer you to a Washington Post story, the reverse of what you said is true. They have it all documented.

Posted by: samhiguchi | Oct 22, 2008 1:08:39 PM

888: Isn't Senator Norm Coleman a Democrat??
------
One of the messages was a death threat.

Can we expect to see an article of the evil people that support Obama?
-----
WHAT??

Posted by: becky | Oct 22, 2008 1:07:58 PM

This comments section is just terrible. Just the same partisan drivel over and over with no relevance to the posted item. This is actually a very interesting dynamic about the two candidates' backgrounds. I'd love to hear some adult discussion about the posted item without the partisan crap (McLame, Nobama, I hate the media, Joe the Plumber, etc).

Posted by: Eric | Oct 22, 2008 1:07:53 PM


Obama has left his kids for 20 plus months now... how sad?!

Posted by: diane | Oct 22, 2008 1:02:10 PM

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