Why do we, straight folks, have to decide what's best for gays and lesbians? My wife and I have lived next door to a gay couple for the last 4 years. There's nothing to fear folks! Homosexuality is not contagious. Beyond sexual preference, our gay neighbors are just like us - hard working men and women who deserve to be treated and accorded with respect, dignity and the same rights as you and me.

What is it with you morons that believe that we gays chose to be gay? Are you stupid or just plain ignorant? WHY would anyone chose to be discriminated by the likes of you all their lives, live a second class status in their own country and be treated different by the law, just so we can chose to have sex with our own gender. WHY? I'm tired of you morons repeating over and over this same stale old chestnut.....get a life!

I'm heterosexual. The thought of having sex with another man is physically repulsive to me. But I care deeply about my fellow humans.

I'm married to a woman, and that's my life - it's how I live.

But I agree with the people who founded this country in that all of it's citizens are created equally - and to deny specific rights to any group of human beings in this country is anti-American.

I wish ignorant, hateful, un-informed people had no rights to vote.

I remember when racism was so bad in the south that firehoses and police dogs were used to squash people marching for equal rights.

What this country needs - what we all need - is a good, old fashioned civil rights lesson. Where is the Martin Luther King of the gay and lesbian community...

If not, what's next?

I'm sure Hitler would know.

As a gay man--and yes one in a 23 year relationship with my partner-- I would not hold my breath waiting for gay people to have an effect on an election. Sad but true that we do not all agree on what is best for gay people and the country. And frankly, I have come to understand where some of my Republican friends are coming from. The Republican party is filled with hypocrites --many of them gay in the upper reaches--that pander to the religious fascist wing of their party. And the Democrats --well what have the Dem's given gay people? DOMA? Don't Ask-Don't Tell? My gay friends tell me the Republicans just 'use the gay issue to get elected'. They don't really believe what they are saying. And they have not really done anything against gay people. Heck, W even believes in civil unions (LOL...)

But at some point the gas runs out on the tired argument for a constitutional amendment against marriage. (That doesn't mean gay people get marriage. It just means it is no longer a benefit to politicos to use it as a wedge issue). When the Republicans control the WH, Senate and the House and do not pass it, that should be a clue to even the slowest minds. What you are seeing is the gauge near empty and the realization by voters that the country is messed up royally. Iraq, Afghanistan, N. Korea , Social Security and Medicare unfixed, out of control spending. And that's the short list of problems. But yet still of critical importance is keeping these gays from being able to form any type of recognized union so they can enjoy a few of the same benefits offered any two drunk straight people.

Well, I've known I was gay since at least around age 10, long before I knew there were any other gay people in the world, or that there was a word for it, or that there was anything one "did" as a gay person (indeed, at age 10, I only had a vague notion about how babies were made!).

But I knew I was "different". And I would spend the next 20 or so years of my life in a sometimes desperate effort to change what I was (all the while a "virgin", by the way).

I still have some of the therapy bills to prove it.

Nothing changed my sexual orientation. And if anyone ever wanted to change his sexual orientation, I did.

Doesn't really sound like a "choice", now does it?

What I eventually DID choose was to accept who and what I was. I am a good person, a moral person. And I am in a good, moral and loving committed relationship with someone whom I love and who loves me.

We all make choices in our lives.

I obviously didn't choose to be gay. I was there. I remember.

But I have chosen to live a full life with honesty and integrity and responsibility for my actions.

You want to blame me for that, go right ahead. Frankly, what you think of me is none of my business.

But as a full-fledged citizen of this great country, I expect my government to treat me fairly, and equitably under the law.

Until that happens, expect me and other gay people --and our friends and family--to speak up, loudly, for what is right.

All these posts bring up so many issues that our country has.

As a gay black man, it is fascinating to me how many "black" Americans feel that gays have somehow "hijacked" the civil rights movement. It is so indicative of the malaise that exists in the black community--as if the civil rights movement is the only thing black people in America have to be proud of, as if its the long thing black people ever did, and as if the principles laid out in that movement are applicable to only one group. It is interesting to me that people forget that Al Sharpton, Correta Scott King, and Jesse Jackson--all people that were actually THERE during the Civil Rights movement have actually spoken up in favor of gay marriage and ending all discrimination in general. When will the rest of America get a clue.

That being said, however, I am troubled by the idea of gay marriage. For so long I think the gay rights movement has been about trying to teach America that one can be outside of the status quo and still be an acceptable member of society. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, gay marriage WILL happen in America within the next 50 years. When it does, I think it will decimate the gay community in ways that would be seemingly attractive to conservatives. There will be the "good" gays--the ones that are more like straight people, the ones with 2.4 kids and a house with a white picket fence--and the "bad" gays--you know, the ones who "use drugs and are promiscuous and etc., etc.," (As a sidenote--does any of this sound familiar to anyone--you know, the lighter skin blacks that tried to pass for white in the days right after the war, and left their "bad" dark skinned black brethren to fend for themselves).

At the end of the day, the fight for gay marriage is not a liberal one but rather a conservative one. When it is successful (and again, lets be honest, it will be), it will forever enshrine the idea that the thought of a life without a life long partner and children is an unacceptable one and will castigate an entirely new class of people--gay, straight, and otherwise--who chose to validate alternative families and lifestyles different from those of the Cleavers--to second class citizenship.

The reason marriage equality is so important to gays is because so many other rights are tied in to marriage. Once we have the equal right to marry the person of our choice, all the many laws that relate to marriage will apply to us as well.

Gay or not, some people will choose marriage for themselves and others will not. The majority of adults do get married. As tough as monogamy is, it's natural for humans to want to make that commitment when you love someone so much that you can see yourselves as old people together. It's about companionship and mutual support as much as it is about intimacy. If you as a gay person do decide to say I do, you will simply have access to the same benefits as every other adult citizen in the country who also chooses marriage.

The way it is right now, criminals in prison can get married and at state expense, but gays are barred. My partner and I are businesswoman and employers, good neighbors and well-known in our community for all the volunteer work we've done, but some guy who might have murdered a child is considered worthy of equal marriage rights. But right now, under many state and all federal laws, somebody like me is considered less worthy than anyone in prison. So we contend not only with that, and with the ignorant and cruel who compare gays to dogs and perverts, but also, it costs us money out of pocket in higher taxes and legal expenses to figure out how to protect ourselves and our assets. This is a given if you are a citizen who is not gay and has the right to marry. Even though we are domestic partners and our business is just a regular small business with less than 20 employees, we are basically being taxed and penalized based on that one fact about ourselves.

Why does our nation support what is essentially a civil contract between two people? Stability. Married couples work together to build wealth and create stability and a support system for themselves and their kids, if they have kids. Marriage clearly contributes to economic and social stability. People who are married also report higher levels of contentment and happiness, and studies show their health is better over time.

So marriage rights for all our citizens is not only good for the married citizens, but for our communities and our country as well.

All this talk of whether or not being gay is a choice is completely irrelevant and puts us (gay people) on the defensive. Why even bother to acknowledge the question? Why do we feel we need to justify our relationships by saying that our orientation is something completely out of our control. For the sake of argument, let's say that it IS a choice. We just chose something different. The only folks that it really matters to are those that are afraid of something/someone other than themselves.

Boy am I in the wrong place.

(Vote Robot)

Terre's comments are spot on. In all the arguments about gay marriage, I've never clearly heard exactly what bad things will happen when gay people are permitted to marry. OK, so it might rain fire and brimstone and the earth might split in two, but besides those minor troubles, what is the concern?

As Terre points out, there are lots of good arguments for supporting gay marriage... stability, economic growth, etc. Good conservative arguments. The arguments against it are, as far as I can tell (and like all arguments against equal rights for all), irrational and fear-based.

So come on Bible thumpers, tell me what you're afraid of. What bad stuff will happen if gays are permitted to marry?

I know most of these comments were posted a long time ago, but I felt compelled to put my two cents in here.

I am a straight guy. I have never had sex with another guy. I can also say with complete truthfulness that being gay is NOT a choice. For all those nay sayers out there, please bear with me, and try to follow me here.

Ok - I am assuming that you are a straight male - much as I am. I want you to picture in your mind gently holding another guy. Caress him. Touch him, kiss him. Now, make mad passionate love to him.

So, if that little blurb got your engine going - and once again, assuming you are a straight male - you are gay. If it did NOT get you going, you are straight. Also, if it DIDN'T get you going, chances are, no matter of attempting to FORCE yourself to enjoy that will work.

So, in conclusion, please don't insist that gay is a choice, until you can look me in the eye, and tell me that YOU chose to be gay for an hour with some Jim Dandy.

Out.