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Lohan and Ronson Confirm Their Relationship

September 23, 2008 4:38 PM

At first, they were   described as "gal pals" -- that casual, best-buds kind of phrase  the news media  like to use when they  hesitate to  call someone gay.

But actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson confirmed their relationship last night on the radio talk show Loveline. AfterEllen.com broke the story today, reporting that the couple called in and spoke with DJ Ted Stryker about celebrity disc jockey DJ AM (Adam Goldstein) who survived Friday's plane crash in South Carolina that killed four passengers.

As the call came to an end, Stryker asked Lohan on air, "Now, you guys, you and Samantha have been going out for how long now? Like two years? One year? Five months? Two months?" Lohan laughed and said, "A long ... a very long time." 

"I hope you guys stay together; you're a very lovely looking couple," Stryker said.

"Thank you very much," Lohan replied.

Now, nearly a year after Ronson, who is openly gay, and Lindsay Lohan have been seen together repeatedly, major news organizations may finally report that the two are more than "good friends" or even "friends with benefits." The hand-holding, and the diamond ring Ronson gave Lohan as a gift, led to rampant speculation that they are a couple in a long-term monogamous relationship. Of course, news organizations, including ABC News, could not officially report that the two  were dating until Ronson, Lohan or one of their publicists confirmed it. But the celebrity press excels at dishing rumors -- and with this particular relationship, despite the obvious story value, any initial rumors were met with silence by all but the blogosphere. Why?

Calling Lohan "gay," as her sister Ali Lohan might tell you, is not  OK.

"They're just friends," Ali told "Extra." "It's pathetic what people say."  For a woman in Hollywood it is perhaps easier to have a same-sex relationship than it is for a man, in large part thanks to Ellen DeGeneres' Time magazine cover that unfortunately resulted in the unanimous decision that all future news headlines about DeGeneres should start with the word "Yep." (DeGeneres says she never uttered the words, "Yep, I'm gay" during the interview.)

Gawker listed a host of reasons why people were slow to catch on  --  but there's one more to add to the list:  We are a culture obsessed with labels, stereotypical labels that are, at times, completely unnecessary.

In order to report on Lohan's relationship it isn't necessary to question whether or not she's gay. But this kind of speculation doesn't need to be published in font large enough to be read from the International Space Station, accented by the gayest of pink colors.

Lohan's decision to date a woman doesn't require a label any more so than her decision to date a man. Gone are the days when it's necessary to say,  "Yep, I'm gay," or in former  New Jersey Gov.  James McGreevey's case, "I am a gay American." His speech  sounded dated and   seemed unnecessary, because the answer to that is: "Ok. So what?"

Visibility is important, but it's no longer shocking.  When a straight couple "canoodles" they're considered boyfriend and girlfriend. No one speculates: "Are they straight?" Or says, "straight couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes  ..." It's assumed. 

In any case, if the couple  consists of a man and a woman, the straight label is automatically applied, regardless of the history of the individuals involved. Past same-sex relationships (also categorized as "romps") don't seem to matter; the relationship in its present form is taken for what it is.

If Ronson and Lohan were male and female, that would be the end of story. But when the mainstream media pounced on this story,  the speculation started:  Is  Lohan gay? Will she "come out"?  Most interestingly, the one category that isn't typically bandied about is the possibility that Lohan may be bisexual. There's the unspoken, sometimes loudly proclaimed, belief that "bisexual" is not even a category -- bisexuals, after all, are merely "confused."

Obviously, definitions and labels such as "bisexual," "lesbian" or "straight" serve a purpose, just like stereotyping, to help us categorize and explain our world. But this oversimplification also leads to ignorance about the variety that exists within those categories. What ends up happening? The people who visibly stand out the most end up representing the entire category (out of our five senses, vision is our most dominant, after all) and we categorize new stories with old narratives. Our observations fall in line with the already established preconceived notions that have been observed time and time again -- instead of the story that's right in front of our noses.

Lohan defies stereotypes. The  word "lesbian" means few things to most Americans: flannel comes to mind, along with softball teams, short haircuts, feminism and practical shoes. Not the first thing you think of when Lohan appears at a club in a gold minidress, 3-inch heels and streaming hair that changes color every season.

Regardless of why the two are together, the mainstream media's initial hesitancy to classify their relationship as anything other than "good friends" invalidated it.

But much like Showtime's "The L Word," Lohan, maybe unwittingly,  would broaden the definition of what "gay" actually means. One thing is certain:  Her relationship with Ronson has highlighted some of the country's most ingrained biases about same-sex relationships.

Christina Caron

September 23, 2008 | Permalink | Share | User Comments (42)

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