Hosting the Oscars: it's not an easy gig. So this week, the year's most talked about awards show host, Ricky Gervais, swooped in to offer advice to first-time emcees James Franco and Anne Hathaway.
"I know how nervous they must be right now," Gervais wrote on his blog. "They will do an absolutely fantastic job and don't need my help, but I've written a little opening in case they have a few minutes to fill."
In January, Gervais hit a nerve in Hollywood with his snarky second stint hosting the Golden Globes. (Remember when he introduced Bruce Willis as Ashton Kutcher's dad?) His Oscar fare is no less cutting. He begins with self-depreciating introductions:
Franco: "You probably know me from "127 Hours" where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this f***ing ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him."
Hathaway: "And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too."
And goes on to have Hathaway and Franco make fun of him:
Franco: "Usually they hire comedians to host the Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!"
Hathaway: "No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly."
Franco: "Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of 'The Office.'"
The Gervais jabs get more personal:
Franco: "That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time."
Hathaway: "Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that's better than being fat right?"
And so on. Suffice is to say that Hathaway and Franco will likely not spend their Oscar monologue mulling about Gervais' appearance and/or lack of manners, but perhaps they'll take a cue from his Golden Globes performance and poke some fun at Hollywood's elite.
-- Sheila Marikar