Womenomics
ABC News' Claire Shipman and the BBC's Katty Kay on women, work and what it really means to "have it all."
Claire Shipman is Good Morning America's Senior National Correspondent. She covers everything from politics to international affairs to family issues.
Katty Kay covers American politics and society for the BBC. She can be seen in the US on BBC America.
Claire and Katty have a new book called Womenomics. For more information visit the web site www.womenomics.com
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Claire Answers Your Flextime Questions
June 04, 2009 11:31 AM
After we talked about flextime at work on "Good Morning America," we received a number of viewer questions and stories. Read below for Claire Shipman's responses and CLICK HERE to send in your questions or join the conversation in the comments section below. Nancy Hartzell, Southlake, Texas: My major reason for writing to you is to relate my experience in the work place some 28 years ago. At the time, I was working for a bank in Richmond, Virginia. My oldest child was born in July, 1981 and I also felt the pull between motherhood and career. ... The pull to the motherhood side of the equation became the stronger one. Consequently, I made the decision to look for part-time employment and contacted a former employer with a law firm to return as a paralegal on a part-time basis. The arrangement was worked out and I gave my notice to the bank.
That evening as I was walking to my car, the president of the bank stopped me in midstep. His comment was "If you can work for (the law firm) part-time, why can't you do it for us?" Of course, my response was that I did not think that was even a remote chance that was a possibility. ...To make a long story a little shorter, I worked for the bank another six years part-time and then for the former law firm for another six years also part-time. My schedule was three days per week with both positions....It wasn't until well into my wonderful arrangement that I realized its uniqueness and how fortunate I was. Claire: Nancy -- wow. Indeed lucky to have had such a modern employer back then. How did your co-workers feel? Jackie, Waynesboro, Penn.: I was faced with this dilemma five years ago. My daughter had just started first grade. My boss wanted to extend his hours to 7:30 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. …I got the last shift. It made it tough because [by the time] I got home it was 5:30. I had enough time to fix dinner, help her with homework and give her a bath before she went to bed. After a few months of this, I was guilt stricken. My husband and I decided I may have to quit my job. It just wasn't working. I loved my job and didn't want to quit. I gathered up my nerves and asked my boss if we could have a private discussion. I explained to him the position I was in. I loved my job but my family more. I explained the new hours were just not working for me. He asked what he could do to help me. He said he didn't want me to leave. We discussed our options and the final outcome was, I would put my daughter on the bus at 8:00 a.m., come to work and leave at 3:30 p.m. to be at home when she got off the bus. Five years later it still works well for me. I am also able to leave during the day to attend school functions with her and to have an occasional lunch with her. Flex time is wonderful. We as women want to do it all. But sometimes we need to tell ourselves we can't and that's okay. Claire: Jackie, your story really illustrates what we've found. If you don't ask, you won't get what you want. And when you do -- if you are valuable -- things can often work out! Congratulations! Lisa Davis, Lawrenceville, Ga.: I think flextime is a good and fair work practice that can be used for everyone including men. My son is an adult now, but my employer allows me to flex one day per week because of our business. I serve customers nationally, so one day per week, which we call "West Coast Wednesdays," I focus solely on my west coast accounts …It's a win/win situation because I get one day a week to sleep in and watch “Good Morning America” and “Regis and Kelly” or handle whatever business I need to take care of, and my employer gets all of their customers’ needs addressed weekly. I'm a happy camper and so is my boss! Now, I believe women with young children should have more time during the day with their kids to take care of basic needs, i.e. doctor and dentist appointments, teacher conferences, activities etc. So both the employer and the employee have to ensure the job is the right fit for both interests. Claire: I'm so glad you see this as a win/win. Was it hard to negotiate? Any personal tips?
June 4, 2009 | Permalink | User Comments (5)
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Hi Claire,
I'm so glad you're doing this blog and would love to interview you for our site. BTW, we went to Worthington High School together. Go Cardinals!
Posted by: Catherine Clifford | Jun 4, 2009 12:04:30 PM
I had a wonderful position with flextime at our small town city hall until some of the men in the office complained to our mayor so he took my flextime away. I am currently looking for a new job that will allow for the flextime but jobs are hard to find especially in a small community. I was hoping I could find a work from home program does anyone have any suggestions.
Posted by: Tonya Kaiser | Jun 10, 2009 5:28:04 PM
I don't understand why women need/want flextime to take care of their children and men don't. Aren't fathers and mothers equally responsible for their children? Why is it that the mother is most often the one who feels pressure to stay home more? Where is the father in this decision; does he feel equal pressure to not work full-time?
This is a big reason why I don't have children.
Posted by: lizriz | Jun 11, 2009 12:25:11 PM
I have a senior role and have had numerous jobs that have allowed flextime, and I have used this benefit with great appreciation. Unfortunately with the current economy, many workplaces still allow a work-life balance (flexible hours with core office hours of 9am-3pm) but telecommuting is not permitted. The reasoning for this is that if employees are working from home, the company can outsource the position to workers in other countries that can get lower salaries. Have you come across this situation? Any thoughts or suggestions?
Thanks
Sadie
Posted by: sadie | Jun 15, 2009 5:32:04 PM
Ladies,
Your book just inspired me to send the following email to every woman I know:
Women’sLIB (Life In Balance) first month meeting at Marcie’s, July 16
The women’s lib movement started 40 years ago, so how come very few of us feel liberated!
I’ve recently been inspired by a book called “womenonics” by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, two journalists who dared to demand balance and happiness—and got it.
Coincidently, while I was writing this note, I overheard Oprah say that she gained all of her weight back because “she’s hungry for balance,” exhausted and overwhelmed. If she’s feeling out of balance, imagine how the rest of us are feeling.
So, the first “meeting” of Women’sLIB (Life In Balance) will be Thursday, July 16, at my house----about 6:30-8:00PM.
I’m hoping to do this the third Thursday of each month. If Thursdays don’t work, we’ll move it.
If you have children, you’re welcome to bring them. I’m going to hire some sitters (the number will depend on how many kids are here) so we can enjoy ourselves. Contributions from those who benefit would be appreciated. It won’t be much.
I’m including friends without children, too, because all perspectives help.
I plan to order some pizzas and salads and we’ll all chip in. Please bring something you like to drink.
Here’s what Women’sLIB is:
• A nurturing, non-judgemental, non-competitive group of friends that meet on a regular basis to exchange ideas, energy and information to help us all achieve the lives we want.
• A confidential and comfortable environment to share our lives and concerns---i.e. if you attend, you have to agree that what happens at Women’sLIB stays at Women’sLIB.
• A place to relax, sip some wine or a martini (if you want), talk and let loose.
What Women’sLIB is NOT:
• A networking group----if one or all of us gets a great job/life from someone or something that happens through Women’sLIB---great—but that’s not the purpose.
• A book club----I encourage you to read “womenomics” just because I think it’s a good book, and we may talk about books sometimes, but there will never be an assignment. We have enough of those.
• There are no committees. You don’t have to volunteer your time. We’re just getting together---which I’m going to arrange because so many of you have shared your struggles with me and I wanted to try something to help. You just have to come and relax.
• Another of those things that take up your time that you already seem to not have enough of----it’s supposed to fun and helpful. If it’s not, please tell me how it can be or just stop coming. You won’t hurt anybody’s feelings.
As many of you know, I spent many years at Chrysler----long before I had children----fighting for work-life balance. I was criticized for many years for not being ambitious enough because I didn’t want to move around departments and climb the corporate ladder. I always knew I didn’t want to be an “executive” because I saw what crappy lives they had and knew myself well enough to know I didn’t want it. Yes, they made a lot of money, but I never thought the trade-off seemed worth it.
I attended over 20 years of company-wide women’s workshops and nothing ever changed. They just didn’t get that money wasn’t the ultimate motivator for everybody. That women and men often would trade money for other benefits, like working from home, flex-time, reduced hours, etc.----there are so many options.
The women I know who excelled in the ranks at Chrysler mostly didn’t have children or had husbands who either worked from home or took care of the family or had the kinds of jobs where they truly could help with the kids and household.
At one meeting, an executive woman I know and like was asked how she balanced life and home. I was really disappointed (and rather ######) at her answer----“you have to jus give 110% in both places.” She had a husband who picked up the home slack while she worked really, really hard. I thought that should have been her answer----I have lots of help from my husband. Her comment did nothing to help those women in the audience who were struggling with their choices everyday.
And this isn’t just a women’s issue.
I begged one of my friends who worked 10-12 hours, 6+ days to stop after his first brain seizure. But, he didn’t. After more seizures and serious surgeries, and after almost literally killing himself for that stupid company, they just fired him one day. New guys came in, didn’t know him---just like that. Gone. He told me later that he should have listened to me all those years and lived his life. He’s got lots of life ahead of him now and hopefully he’ll remember that balance.
I grew to love my job and company and was very committed, but I loved not being there a whole lot more. Luckily, I worked mostly for men who also wanted balance. Unfortunately, when I went back to work after having the girls, those men were gone. I thought I’d be fine because my immediate manager was a Mom of 2 who I had known for over 20 years and the head of the department had teenage twin girls. I figured they’d understand.
I spent an entire year trying to convince them of any of a variety of flexible options---working from home two days, three days in the office/one day home/one day off. I was basically offering to do my entire job and only get paid for four days just so I could see my little girls more often and not be so miserable.
She basically said that since she didn’t have any of those options when she was “coming up,” neither could I. He told me he would agree if I took a demotion.
Now, as I strive to recreate my life and career after having these wonderful little creatures finally in my life, I know many of you are in that constant struggle for balance.
So, that’s why I’m creating Women’sLIB (Life In Balance).
I hope to see you at one of our future meetings.
Marcie
Posted by: marcie | Jul 6, 2009 7:35:26 PM
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